The family mediator, considering the potential risk to the detriment of the children, must take a position regarding the value system of the parents. It must communicate to them, if necessary, in a clear and unequivocal way, the emergence, during the unfolding of family mediation, of their unawareness of the effects of this choice of value with regard to the right to self-fulfillment of their children, especially if minors. .
The social marginalization of the children can be hidden through a dark corner within the daily life, to break into successive phases of the child’s development, until it reveals itself with the juvenile deviance. Unlike crime, deviance involves a violation of social, not legal, norms, the protraction of which, if neglected, can also imply the subsequent violation of legal norms. With respect to the problem of deviance, it is a primary objective to worry about,to take care in a preventive manner, to take care of the inconveniences expressed by the minor first, as a source of responsibility for the consequences of one’s choices as parents. The reading of the concrete cases of conflict to the bitter end by the parents, acted without “holds barred” and the devastating consequences on minors, suggests how it is increasingly important to try to act first (ex ant and not ex post).
The “preventive care”it is represented by a new and concrete relationship / relational value of the parents. They, by virtue of an enlightened awareness, understand how their collaboration in parenting and the necessary circularity of relationship with the child is essential to mitigate the malaise suffered and deriving from the separation of the parents. The term of a relationship between adults cannot and must not infer in the relationship between parents and children, especially as regards affectivity, responsibility, rationality and collaboration between former spouses.
The recognition of the conflict must be implemented in the negotiation that the parties will activate in the mediation, for the regulation of their personal and / and patrimonial relationships consequent or considered in relation to the separation.
Dr. Cosimo Aruta
Psicologo, Psicoterapeuta, Mediatore Familiare
Iscritto all’Ordine degli Psicologi della Lombardia con il n° 12147
Studio di psicologia, psicoterapia, consulenza di coppia, mediazione familiare a Milano
psicoterapia individuale – cura dell’ansia, della depressione, dello stress del disagio relazionale ed esistenziale
psicoterapia di coppia – meccanismi inconsci possono condizionare gioie, liti, conflitti, tradimenti e incomprensioni familiari
psicoterapia di gruppo – di analisi bioenergetica, la conduzione che si struttura anche attraverso il linguaggio del corpo
colloquio psicologico – è un incontro tra uno psicologo e una persona che lo contatta a causa di un malessere
anxiety and panic attacks – shortness of breath is conditioned by character defenses for infant survival
depression, low energy – nails the individual, sadness, despondency, discomfort, melancholy, take possession of him
character and relationship problems – need for intimacy and self-expression, fear that the two elements can be excluded